Tuesday, January 23, 2007

His "Worst Experience" explains a lot

I stumbled upon this page, while looking for something else.

Funniest Running Joke

The one joke that never gets old to me is when Moose says "that worked as well as when the Red's had the chinese throwing star giveaway." Any other nominations?

Monday, January 22, 2007

I think that Wayne Krivsky is ranked too high

...on this list of GMs.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Sterile Climbing Into Bed; Potent Going Down the Stairs


Last night at 2:30 a.m., my ADT burglar alarm sounded. Heather jumps out of bed, freaking out, and sends me downstairs in my underwear to check it out.

I don't own a gun. I don't have a baseball bat in my bedroom. I have nothing that could even repel the smell of the burglar. Heather won't give me the "panic button" alarm remote (supposedly, you push it and cops in droves coming screaching to your house), so she can push it when the band of criminals makes it past my first assault.

Do I turn on lights as I go (giving the perp notice as I enter each room) or leave them dark and rely on my sixth sense? I go downstairs and the back door is standing wide open. Man, at that moment, why the hell don't I have a glauck in my hand?

Ultimately, we determined that, most likely, we probably didn't make sure the latch caught on the door before we went to bed and the wind blew it open. But, I can't be sure.....

Who owns a gun? I had this conversation with one of my west-side large-acreage owning clients, who have more guns than Koresh. They've devised a two-prong battle attack in such a circumstance.

I want to get one, but everytime I bring it up I get the "kids'll get it" argument. Anyone?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Another stellar idea from our friends in Canada


A Pillow Fight League has been started in Toronto. Good idea, but I think that it might go too far in glorifying violence. I would advocate a Tickle Fight League. Perhaps promoters could do a twin bill with pillow fights and tickle fights and market it as "Slumber Party Mania."

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Tom Brady's Karma


I tuned in to the Patriots-Chargers game just before LT's touchdown run made it 21-13. The game, from that point on, reminded me of Brady's first super bowl. With Bledsoe healthy on the sidelines, Brady hit 20-yard passes to seemingly wide open receivers to set-up Vinitieri's winning field goal.

Remember the legal flap about Belichick going to the Pats? That same year, Brady was taken in the sixth round behind six other quarterbacks. These two decisions were the reason for three super bowls and a fourth this year. Dumb luck? Karma? More analysis, less facts?

If the Patriots are the model - and they should be - we need to trade Chad Johnson.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Yet another addictive game.

I know that Bud, Moose and I are the only ones who read this anymore, but check this game out. I got to level 27, which according to the high score page, sucks.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Minor gripe of the day


What ever happened to normal 100 watt lightbulbs that you could buy a pack of 4 for about $2? Our house was built, I've come to learn, to require about a dozen different types of specialty bulbs for the various light fixtures. The house is 3 1/2 years old (apparently also the lifespan of a bulb), so all the bulbs have been burning out lately. It is pissing me off to have to run to Lowes every other weekend to stock up on specialty bulbs which generally run about $10 a pop. Would it have killed the builder to just put in light sockets that require normal bulbs?

I don't know why this has gotten under my skin so much. It can't be helping matters that every night when I get home from work, my three-year-old's first order of business is to take me to the newly burned out light, gleefully declare "light no work, daddy," and hover expectantly until I get out the stepstool and a new bulb to replace it.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Less Facts, More Analysis


Enron, National Security, Nazi Germany,Using All Available Information, Fact Gathering v. Analysis, Yale Law Professor's Law Review Articles, and some students from Cornell. A little something for everyone from America's most interesting writer.


New Stage of Manhood - Vasectomy

With my third due in May (a girl), I am on the cusp of a new stage in life. Should I follow in the footsteps of me dear ol' dad?

Now, aside from perhaps Clark, I know NONE OF YOU have considered the thought and are shivering and shuddering just reading the words. So, why bring it here?

Because it brought a high-definition, techni-colored, super-charged thought to my mind: A vasectomy party in Vegas! Perhaps because partypoker shut me down, I can match anything with poker. There are plenty of qualified physicians in Reno and Vegas. So, who's in?

OK, I can't make it to Vegas. BUT, I can make it to Argosy or Belterra so long as I have a pre-planned pretextual business trip. Perhaps a ruse involving some cow-town type of litigation (i.e. did the cow jump in front of the car or vice versa). BUT, no way I'm letting some Indiana quack touch my sack.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

UC Football


Let me go on record as saying that I really like new UC football Coach Kelly. I think he'll be more successful than Dantonio and that he'll run a more exciting team. He'll also be a better quote, more open-minded, and a more entertaining guy. Thumbs up to AD Thomas.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Boise State v. Oklahoma


I actually turned this game off with a minute left. Boy did I miss a hell of a game. Of course with YouTube, I didn't need to watch the game.


Can someone refresh my recollection?


I forget: what were the terms of the bet that a number of you were involved in about who would be the last to stay single? Who was in on the action? Has Chavez now won?

Another one bites the dust


Sorry, ladies, as everyone probably knows by now, Moose is officially off the market. After a prolonged "courtship," he has decided to allow Kendra to make an honest man out of him. None of you were there for the proposal, but by a stroke of luck, I happened to be around to witness the event. Here is how it happened:

Moose set the mood by lighting several of his favorite scented Crabtree and Evelyn candles, while Morrissey crooned mournfully in the background. He looked resplendent in his favorite outfit: a David Robinson Spurs jersey, British flag socks, and nothing else (shiver). When Kendra came into the room, Moose's two cats strolled past her wearing hand-calligraphied signs around their necks which read "Will you" and "marry me, Kendra?" She had tears in her eyes (or is she just allergic to those damn cats?) when she turned around to see Moose kneeling beside her. Actually, he wasn't really kneeling, he's just that low to the ground naturally, but the effect was the same. In his hand was a small box containing a shiny conflict diamond, likely from one of the same third world countries whose immigrants Moose helps flood into this country and steal jobs from hard-working Americans. With Moose blocking the only exit, Kendra said "yes."

Remembering the scene brings a tear to my eye. Everything was so perfect.