Friday, January 19, 2007

Sterile Climbing Into Bed; Potent Going Down the Stairs


Last night at 2:30 a.m., my ADT burglar alarm sounded. Heather jumps out of bed, freaking out, and sends me downstairs in my underwear to check it out.

I don't own a gun. I don't have a baseball bat in my bedroom. I have nothing that could even repel the smell of the burglar. Heather won't give me the "panic button" alarm remote (supposedly, you push it and cops in droves coming screaching to your house), so she can push it when the band of criminals makes it past my first assault.

Do I turn on lights as I go (giving the perp notice as I enter each room) or leave them dark and rely on my sixth sense? I go downstairs and the back door is standing wide open. Man, at that moment, why the hell don't I have a glauck in my hand?

Ultimately, we determined that, most likely, we probably didn't make sure the latch caught on the door before we went to bed and the wind blew it open. But, I can't be sure.....

Who owns a gun? I had this conversation with one of my west-side large-acreage owning clients, who have more guns than Koresh. They've devised a two-prong battle attack in such a circumstance.

I want to get one, but everytime I bring it up I get the "kids'll get it" argument. Anyone?


At Friday, January 19, 2007 12:44:00 PM, Blogger Ewald said...

Are you sure your son wasn't trying to sneak out? West Side boys always sneak out and cause mischief, they start young too.

All the stats show that your family is more likely to get injured if you have a gun in the house. I would be more worried about my spouse shooting me, or my kids getting some bad acid and going on a Doom killing spree.

Of course now I think you can buy handguns with Thumbprint or palm print identification, locks. I am sure they are expensive.

I have an aluminum bat under my bed, which is ridiculous. It was a fun purchase, I went to Play it Again sports and said give me your cheapest aluminum bat. The clerk knew right away it was for home security.

Of course, I have Dante and Kia. You should just get a German Shepard.

At Saturday, January 20, 2007 3:21:00 PM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

I agree with Ewald. The odds are certainly against a home invasion. Well over 95% of buglaries are for property only. If someone is there they take off. And if someone is hurt in a home invasion it is usually a drug dealer robbing a drug dealer. I also have ADT. It is nice peace of mind. The odds of your house getting broke into while you are home are pretty small. The odds of someone continuing to rob your home with a hundred and thirty-five decibel alarm going off are even slimmer. Get a bat for under the bed. Guns are just asking for trouble.

At Saturday, January 20, 2007 3:24:00 PM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

Todd-Don't you have a keypad near your master bedroom? We have the main keypad downstairs and then a second wireless one near our bedroom door. If you hit * and # together it sends off the panic signal.

At Monday, January 22, 2007 12:03:00 PM, Blogger michael budelsky said...

Monty, I think you should set up a system of machine guns with trip wires at all possible entry points.

Calaway, you should test your panic signal tonight just to make sure it works.

At Tuesday, January 23, 2007 9:33:00 AM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

What you need is some cheap immigrant labor security guards. Back in the day the Italians offered this kind of protection, but you can probably get away with the cheaper and more lethal Chinese or Jamacian variety.



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