Top Eleven Reasons the UC Tailgate is the Best Ever

11) It's a stone's throw from the stadium. So after six hours of drinking you can practically fall into the stadium. Not quite as literally as when Will tackled Bjorn onto the playing field. During the game. (They were kicked out)

10)Bathrooms in the Alumni Center are even closer. Indoor plumbing. A sink. Modern conveniences that are largely forgotten after drinking for six hours.

9)UC sets up a huge party with bands and food and kid's games and fun stuff like that. You can see it from our tailgate. Not that you would ever leave our tailgate.

8)The parade usually finishes right by our parking lot. Band nerds will always be band nerds. I don't care if they are having sex with each other. That doesn't count.

7)Servatii Pretzel with beer cheese. Enough said.

6)Music selection that goes from Foghat to Janet Jackson to Cornershop to Poison. Girls secretly like music thats played in strip clubs. Not that I would know what music is played in strip clubs.

5)Kaden Clark. Now in his fourth year. I think he's three years old and this is his fourth tailgate. If watching a three-year-old pound beers with his dad doesn't get you fired up, I don't know what will. It was either beer or a juice box, I don't remember. (Honorable mention to Kathy Lasher's Mom. For some reason when she shows up there is no person I would rather see. She's my fun aunt who gave me sips of her beer at the family picnic. She's been every year too.)

4)Budelsky free. That's right. No fleece vest wearing, Samba sporting, Dartmouth elitists hanging around out tailgate explaining that they "have a better idea".

3)All the tailgate staples. Beer, food, cookies and chips. A grill going in the back. A pickup that you get a view of the parking lot. Cornhole and a football. If this doesn't interest you then you have no soul and you should move to Darfur.

2)Speaking of beer, this tailgate offers one of the toughest Cups competition this side of the Alleghenies. I'm not sure where the Alleghenies are, but I do know we have great players that excel both in the team format and last year's "Survivor" format. (Reigning champion:Christin C.) Bring your best team and go home with your tail between your legs. (Two years ago UC defeated Miami's team 13 times out of 14 matches.)

1)Not many people have experienced number one, but it remains with all who have been there. I get there about 8:30 in the morning. Bjorn and Moose return with the beer around 9:00. For the next couple hours we play poker in the back of the pickup as the campus comes to life. Something peaceful about drinking beer, playing cards for nickels and getting ready to tailgate. It helps that we are usually drunk by the time most people show up.