Friday, September 08, 2006

Old School Top 10 List

This is an old email from Lil' Bart dated March 1, 1999. I post it because as I said in response to Calaway's Top 11 list, we need to do a better job of coming up with inane rankings for ourselves -- a man needs to know where he stands. (It is pure coincidence that I happened to post a ranking that I sit on top). Good stuff.

I personally agree with Bud on his ranking system. Poker night is not simply about winning and losing of money, but it is also about other intangibles already mentioned. In light of this criteria, my rankings are as follows:
1. Bud (As much as it pains me to rank my nemesis this high, facts are facts. He has stayed in the same seat for the second longest duration. He had and lost lucky bear. He is very boisterous at poker night. And he wins the most. He introduced $10 dollar whore, an orinal PN game. Obvious choice. Todd's poll loses all credibility in my opinion for his failure to put the obvios choice #1. Whether we like it or not, he has to have the #1.)
2. Moose (He lived at Aunt Ellies, stayed in his seat the longest, owned the game of capitalism, Martini Night participant, made all Vegas trips, was represented by a card in a number of games.)
3. Chavez (Although really didn't start winning to the end, his strong perfomance in WOP deserve recognition. Stayed in same seat for majority of time. Was the central character in many Poker Night Scandals and gossip)
4. Bartish (This seems to be wear I rank in many other polls. I was incredibly hot during most ofd second year - possibly even leading money winner until horrible slump and Budelsky's rise. Won Todd's Elmo. Introduced Old Faithful, Pub Crawl, Bartish's roomate. Namesake of Bartish on Stick. Did Pelvic thrusts when I thought I won with 4 nines, provided Aunt Ellies, organized Vegas Trips, Butt of many jokes and pranks.)
5. Calaway (Almost feel like ranking him lower due to his self inflated ranking system, but he is a founding member and driving force behind poker night. Supplier of pretzels and stories. Head gossip monger which is invaluable. Lost a stuffed Elmo. Won all the time in the beginning. Suspect winnings - always brings up Vegas and Argosy and Atlantic City yet only wins when I'm not around.)
6. Clark (A bit of an upset that the youngster advanced this high this quick. Solid member. High attendance percentage. May have singlehandedly save poker night thru a virtrilic email scolding us for not playing ever weekend. Provided temporary home for PN when Aunt Ellies was not available.)
7. Max (one of the founding six. Represented by a card in the most games. Created some of the worst Poker Night games of all time in Fuck You Milo (Elmo) and Othello. Responsible for great deal of Poker Night gossip and scandal. Broke the most dining room chairs (3). Deepest voice when singing.
8. Doug (Didn't really start playing until final year which hurts his rankings. Lost lots of money at until a very strong performance during final stretch. Created possibly the most original and funniest game at PN - Guess Who is the 1L Homosexual.
9. Shane (Doormat as far as winnings are concerned however always came back for more. Took more punishment than most could ever handle yet always maintained stiff upper lip. Introduced 5 card McGee (Aces, Traces, One Eyed Faces (although he claims he called deuces instead treses)
10. Ewald (The man who gave us WOP, no more need be said.)


At Friday, September 08, 2006 2:33:00 PM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

Looking back at those rankings, it is evident to me that Ewald was ranked too low. He should have been ahead of Shane and Doug.

At Friday, September 08, 2006 3:43:00 PM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

Does the fact that I introduced $10 whore -- and not Bud -- elevate me?

In any event I don't think that we give enough credence to Huffman's deep singing voice. That has to count for more.


At Friday, September 08, 2006 10:08:00 PM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

And the seat durations are way off. Chavez was known as the "Iron Man" for his high attendance and always sitting in the same seat. In fact the Chavez, me (Calaway), Bud corner was essentially unchanged throughout poker night.
What was the list? Top Ten members of poker night?

At Friday, September 08, 2006 11:56:00 PM, Blogger UCLaw98 said...

That is right. We all were expected to rank the various members of poker night. You started it. I use to have the entire thread. I am absolutely beside myself that I lost that thread.

At Monday, September 11, 2006 2:43:00 PM, Blogger Ewald said...

Shane should be ranked number 1 one everyones list. He was by far the best person to have at poker night. If he was there all of our meter parking was covered for the week.

At Monday, August 27, 2007 6:44:00 PM, Blogger Jurist said...

Yay, I'm not last!


Post a Comment

<< Home