UC Law 1998

Blog moved...

2008-01-09T10:15:00.000-05:00

New Blog is at: http://uc98law.blogspot.com/

Libby and Paris

2007-06-05T16:17:00.000-04:00

Who has a better chance of converting to Islam while incarcerated: Libby or Paris?

Anyway, way back I likened some of the characters in the Libby trial to UC folks, including a beefcake US Marshal who looked Hans. ("--2 US Marshals: one is Hibby. The other is bald with a huge goatee and looks exactly like Hans except a foot shorter.")

Well here he is today (in the tan suit) after Libby was told he could sit in a cell and ponder the error of his ways for 30 months.

Lopez

I didn't see this coming....

2007-05-23T19:01:00.000-04:00

NEWPORT - The Purple People Bridge Climb ceased operation today, largely because of disappointing turnouts of customers and lawsuits over rights to the project that cost operators "hundreds of thousands" of dollars in legal fees.

More here.

FREE MONEY BABY

2007-05-18T11:20:00.000-04:00

Monty:

Here's an update on the Bar/Bri lawsuit. I received this email from the administrator:

Thank you for your e-mail inquiry.

According to the cost information database you paid 1733.75

Regards,

Administrator

Did I really pay that much? For crying out loud, man.

Even more stupid is my involvement in other class actions. For instance, during the last year, I recieved a roughly $15 credit to my verizon account, but only if I signed up again. I also received, if I so claimed, two free credit reports.

In the last several years, my parents received four sleeping bags from Coleman as a result of an allegedly defective Mercury boat motor they purchased. They could've chosen a tent instead, I believe, but not the bags and the tent.

This one, on the other hand, is LUCRATIVE. I'm curious about several things with this BarBri settlement, though.

1. What did the NLADA have to do to be included as a donation option on the claim form? Seriously, what right does class counsel have to do that arbitrarily? That kind of crap shouldn't happen - even if lead plaintiff wanted it.

2. Okay, so a $49MM settlement - 25% to attorneys plus litigation and administrative expenses. I'm okay with that (although the case seems pretty straightforward since they have a smoking gun signed agreement.) Still, I'm okay. Then, the net goes to the class, but the distribution is limited to 30% limitation on all approved claims (huh?) with any settlement remaining distributed on a cy press basis. Why, pray tell, do we need the 30% limitation. Factor it in, figure it out and send me my money. Pull out the database and print the freakin' checks. Why limit the claims in advance and allow a cy press distribution. I'll tell you why. So that counsel can get a double dip on fees when there is extra money. That kind of crap shouldn't happen.

And don't get me started on Ken Lawson or Mike Nifong.

Happy 45th B-Day, Moose!

Can't Have Too Many...

2007-05-06T21:08:00.000-04:00

Montgomerys. Westsiders. We're gonna take over the world!

Samantha Marie

7 lbs 7 ozs

"Cincinnati is a cocktail of contradictions."

2007-04-25T19:32:00.000-04:00

BUD:

Here is an interesting article about Cincinnati and its sports (mostly the Bengals). It rambles a bit and tries to roll in too many unconnected topics, but I was surprised that it ended up presenting a fairly accurate and complete picture of Cincinnati.

Softball Update: Loss to Shamrocks, 8-3

2007-04-25T09:27:00.000-04:00

We're now 0-2 (thanks in part to the Week 1 forfeit).

Highlights and lowlights included:

- Clark, playing 1B, made a leaping stab on a liner.
- Chavez, playing 2B, made several solid defensive plays, and was error-free.
- Some guy named Mike filled in at SS and was positively ordinary.
- Moose booted two balls at 3B, one of which was with two outs and runners on 1st and 2d.
- Ewald (LF) made a nice running catch in foul territory, Tim (LC) had an over the shoulder grab, and Matt Stubbs (RC) absolutely laid-out for a brilliant catch. Hatch was involved, I think, in no defensive plays.
- Smitty (P) pitched very well, and walked no one. Huffman (C, and in khakis) had two plays at the plate, both throws were on the mark (from Tim), but a little late. Huffman grabbed both throws without incident, although he was bowled over on one.

- The offense was uninspiring. I don't think anyone had an extra base hit, and we routinely left runners on base.

Time to get what's coming to us

2007-04-24T17:12:00.000-04:00

BUD:

If I recall correctly, lesson #1 at the 1998 Barbri review course was that lawyers are a litigious bunch. Example: the class action suit against Barbri.

You may already be aware of this, but if not, check out the website. It has the claim form that needs to be filled out and mailed in by September. According to the information, there is a $49 million pot, and we are each entitled to no more than 30% of what we paid. It looks like our greedy lawyers will take up to 25% of the settlement.

I have no idea how much I paid (wasn't it at least $1,000?), so I called the hotline and am expecting an answer in 3 weeks after my query is "researched."

Good stuff. I love sticking it to the man. Don't tell Nick Dinardo about this, he'll probably just donate his share to the National Legal Aid and Defender Association.

You Will NOT Believe What I Noticed

2007-04-17T10:04:00.000-04:00

Bartish! In the color guard. And this...

I didn't see him there, but apparently, he's Ewald's conscience.

Painter

2007-04-15T19:10:00.000-04:00

I don't mind J. Painter making some jokes in his opinions. The problem is that so few of his are actually timely pop references or necessarily relevant.

Opening Day.

2007-04-06T15:58:00.000-04:00

I told Bart that I would put up a picture from Opening Day. Here is Harang's first pitch. Much better than Mallroy's.

More pictures from Beam: HERE.

MOOSE'S AAU GIRLS' HOOPS TEAM

2007-04-06T09:20:00.000-04:00

Since I know that you're always dying for updates on the girls that I coached growing up, two of them made first-team all Cincinnati:

Maribeth Greis is a 6-2 center with a Musillo-sculpted baby hook. She's had a few NCAA D-1 offers, but hasn't accepted any of them yet.

Amanda Keehan is a 6-1 wing player with a sweet jumper (that I had NOTHING to do with) who just signed with WVU.

An Honorable mention was our point guard, Abby Ballman, from Mercy.

Softball Schedule

2007-04-05T08:56:00.000-04:00

4/17 6.20 Airport #2 v. Power Plant
4/24 7.30 Schmidt #3 v. Shamrocks
5/1 7.30 Schmidt #4 v. Bears
5/8 6.20 Schmidt #3 v. Kohnen & Patton
5/15 6.20 Schmidt #1 v. Nky Bar Assoc.
5/22 BYE
5/29 7.30 Airport #2 v. Strauss & Troy
6/5 6.20 Schmidt #1 v. Greenbaum
6/12 7.30 Schmidt #3 v. Bears
6/19 7.30 Schmidt #3 v. Shamrocks
6/26 6.20 Schmidt #4 v. Frost Brown Todd
7/3 6.20 Airport #1 v. N Ky Bar Assoc.

RAINOUT: 651-5118 EXT 240

Baseball Movies

2007-04-04T23:11:00.000-04:00

Opening Day brought about a heated argument between Bjorn and I about what is the best "baseball" movie. We were drunk so I can't tell you if we meant the best movie with baseball in it or the best movie that captures the essence of baseball. He says "The Natural". I say "Bull Durham". It will be interesting to see how this online competition to name the best baseball movie turns out: http://www.tribecafilmfestival.org/baseball-round1.html

I'm Sorry Monty

2007-04-03T23:09:00.001-04:00

http://www.handdrawngames.com/DesktopTD/

Best Hometown in Ohio

2007-04-03T19:54:00.000-04:00

BUD:

I thought you all should know that the venerable Ohio Magazine recently honored Mariemont as the best hometown in Southwest Ohio.

As part of the 2-day itinerary that many of you will now be compelled to undertake, I also recommend visiting the "Boyhood Home of Lil' Bud" plaque on Hammerstone Way. Perhaps you will be able to glean a greater appreciation for why I am like I am.

Look at me, I gotta be in centerfield

2007-04-02T11:24:00.000-04:00

What is the best non-weekend, non-holiday sports day of the year? I've got to go with today -- opening day of the baseball season and the NCAA basketball championship game.

Although, I believe a case could also be made for the first Thursday of March Madness.

WE'RE NUMBER 57!!!

2007-03-29T10:39:00.000-04:00

UC Law took another drop in the US News and World Report Rankings, down to #57, presumibly because the brilliant Prof. Huffman, who Richard Epstein likes to join in Amici Curiae briefs, will not be teaching there next year.

One wonders what San Diego did to drop 20 slots?

BTW, Ohio State lept up to #31. I could be wrong, but I thought that OSU was behind UC when I applied to law school in the Winter of 1994-95.

I Kicked Kevin Costner's Ass

2007-03-26T11:05:00.000-04:00

Monty:

I'm not sure how thoughts make it into rem sleep, but last night I kicked the Kevin Costner's ass - the Tin Cup version. That was probably my last Costner film.

In the dream, I was drunk at the time and Kevin was putting the moves on Susie. Yep, Susie and Kevin Costner cozy in a bar's corner booth. I'm not sure exactly why I was angered - Susie and I were not an item in the dream - and I sobered up later in the dream to regret the joy I felt in bloodying Kevin Costner.

(Note: After I woke up, I tried to transform Kevin into Tom Brady, but it was clearly Costner).

The Bible tells me not to get drunk. So perhaps it was god speaking to me yesterday after two classes of really good wine.

Or, perhaps the 6-week countdown to baby #3 is giving me the baby blues. I doubt that, though, because if that were the case my dream probably would've centered around me at Woody's in my tighty-whities.

Perhaps I can get some monday morning psycho-quarterbacking on my affliction.

March Madness

2007-03-21T17:19:00.000-04:00

BUD:

I know what you are thinking: the basketball tournament seems like such a letdown since they already crowned the national champion in skiing. Hats off to Dartmouth who won it all this year! (although the rioting in Hanover the night of that victory was an ugly side story.) Keep your fingers crossed for Dartmouth's chance to repeat as national champions in figure skating next month. This would complete an unprecedented sweep of semi-obscure winter sports titles for the Big Green.

In other Dartmouth sports news that actually manages to touch on the theme of this blog, did anyone go down to Marge Schott Stadium to see UC take 2 of 3 from Dartmouth in baseball earlier this month?

More Headlines

2007-03-16T10:41:00.000-04:00

Monty:

Not sure why this headline issue has garnered my attention.

But, it reaches beyond crime. Check out the spin on the Cognis hazardous discharge into the Mill Creek from this Enquirer article today. That's some good damage control. Swith the headline to Cognis Pays the Price for Dumping and take out two self serving quotes.

I'll give your suburb vs. city crime some more attention in the upcoming weeks...

Ok, this is a good game, I promise

2007-03-13T10:55:00.000-04:00

This one takes some thinking:

www.wordsandwich.com

A GOOD EXAMPLE OF BAD HEADLINE WRITING

2007-03-13T08:44:00.000-04:00

MOOSE:

The Cincinnati Enquirer does an awful job as the region's paper of record. It is all too quick to turn small downtown-area incidents into crime waves. This story is a good example. The headline, "Short Vine on edge after recent crimes," is simply unsupported by the objective facts listed in the article.

Here are the facts listed in the article:

"In fact, according to Cincinnati police, reported crimes in Corryville dropped from 173 in 2002 to 119 in 2006." That's a massive drop. Why isn't this the story?
"Police, some residents and many business owners say crime isn't bad there, noting the McDonald's fatal shooting was the first homicide in that area since 2003." Now I'm not a proponent of homicide, but if there were no murders in 2004, no murders in 2005, no murders in 2006, and one in 2007, I'm not sure that we should be ready to panic.
Half of the locals listed in the article say things like, "'I've worked here six years and never been scared,' says Nikki Smith, 24, an employee at The Cupboard, a smoke shop."

Meanwhile the suburbs have a three-man drug-fueled Heat-like murder-suicide and the Enquirer blows it off as "defying logic," "puzzling" and "bizarre." I say that you're nuts to live in the northern suburbs where yesterday's court docket included cases where rape occurs in public parks, men beat up and shoot their wives, and foster parents kill the children that they are hired to protect; come downtown where it's actually safe in spite of the Enquirer's smear campaign. (Note - all five cited stories were in today's on-line Enquirer. Guess which of the five headed the section.)

Dogs and Cats, Living Together, Mass Hysteria

2007-03-13T00:47:00.000-04:00

BUD:

This vexes me. I am terribly vexed. Peter "Build a Jail" Bronson and Lou "Lap Dance" Sirkin have found themselves on the same side of an issue. There is no question that this is a sign of the apocalypse.

He just wanted to check out what was on the tube

2007-03-09T13:05:00.000-05:00

BUD:

In honor of John "Peeps" Hatcher dropping by the Blog, I thought I would post a link to this article about an all-too-familiar heinous crime that happened recently in Seattle.

DATELINE NBC

2007-03-08T17:43:00.000-05:00

Just got this from my UC Law listserv:

This Sunday, Dateline NBC will feature University of Cincinnati Law students’ efforts with the Ohio Innocence Project. We hope you’ll tune in.

The experiences of UC College of Law students and faculty in helping free a wrongfully convicted man will receive nationwide exposure on Sunday night, March 11, when Dateline NBC debuts a program devoted to the case of Clarence Elkins. Check your local listings for the correct air time.

Please call me if you have any questions or if you want to learn more about how you can support the Lois and Richard Rosenthal Institute for Justice/Ohio Innocence Project.

To read the announcement of the TV appearance, go to -- www.uc.edu/news/NR.asp?id=5373

Sorry, Yet Another Stangely Addictive Game

2007-03-04T21:58:00.000-05:00

Here it is:
http://www.gamershood.com/flashgames/2933

Hope Springs Eternal

2007-03-02T18:35:00.000-05:00

BUD:

I know it's only the first exhibition game, but I have to admit that I am already more than a little excited about the Reds' prospects this year. After locking up Arroyo and Harang in the off season (BTW, when will Jr's wrist be healed?), the first game was tantalizing. Milton had an ok outing (sorta), Dunn had a homer and a walk, and their reclamation project Josh Hamilton also had a monster dinger. Even dirty jersey Ryan Freel was 2-2 with a stolen base (and error in center, ahem). I'm absolutely giddy about the thought of Homer Baily pitching at GAB.

I know, I know, we say every year that "if a few things break our way...." But I'm serious, the Reds could have a good year if a few things break our way!

In other news, if the Mariners don't resign Ichiro, I may have to take a break from them for awhile. You know, cool off.

Now if I could only find a 40 of Burger

2007-02-28T09:02:00.000-05:00

From Wednesday's Enquirer:

Hudy Bock Beer comes back
BY JON NEWBERRY JNEWBERRY@ENQUIRER.COM

Christian Moerlein Brewing Co. is resurrecting another of Cincinnati’s historic beer brands for this weekend’s Bockfest celebration. Hudepohl Bock Beer will be available on draft at restaurants and bars participating in Bockfest beginning Thursday.

Hudepohl and various other versions of bock beer, a dark lager traditionally packaged with a label featuring a goat – “bock” in German – have heralded the coming of spring in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky since the 1800s.

Cincinnati-based Christian Moerlein bought the Hudepohl-Schoenling brands last year, returning them to local ownership. It has marketed Hudy Delight beer since then, but the Hudepohl brand has otherwise been absent for years, and Hudepohl Bock hasn’t been produced since the 1980s.

The company brewed only a small batch using one of the original recipes, said Greg Hardman, owner of Christian Moerlein.

“We’re bringing it back as kind of a test to see how people like it,” he said. “Based on that reaction, that’ll determine what we do. This is a big stretch for us. We’re bringing back one of the true great brands of the city.”

Hudepohl 14K, a lighter lager than the bock version, was the most popular Cincinnati beer brand through much of the 1950s and 1960s. Sales slumped in the 1970s and 1980s as national brands such as Budweiser and Miller came to dominate the industry, and regional breweries shut down across the country.

Hardman, who now brews his beer at the Lion Brewery in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., hopes to open a brewery in Over-the-Rhine once he re-establishes his brands and builds sufficient sales volumes.

Hudepohl Bock will also be sold downtown at the inaugural “Bock and Brats Cincinnati Beer Toast” on Fountain Square from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. Thursday.

The event is sponsored by the Brewery District Community Urban Redevelopment Corp., an Over-the-Rhine non-profit group. It will feature Cincinnati beer and sausages, including bock beer, bockwurst and bratwurst.

Participants are invited to take to the stage and give a toast appropriate for the occasion, with an engraved plaque awarded for the winning entry. The toasts will be shown live on the square’s giant video screen.

BROOMBALL

2007-02-22T16:20:00.000-05:00

The Broomball Championship is set for the new Fountain Square rink this Friday.
Here's the big question: what's the spread?

To Gag or Not to Gag

2007-02-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

Everyone tells me I'm getting old when I admit that I podcast Bill Cunningham. You should check out six minutes into his hour 2 from yesterday here.

He's interviewing Liz Carroll's UC Law '99 lawyer, Adam Bleile.

Bill Cunningham: You represent Liz Carroll only on the matters pending in Hamilton County not Clermont County, correct?
Adam Bleile: That’s correct, officially speaking. I don’t want to be subject to the gag order in Clermont County.
Bill: It’s got nothing to do with Clermont County.
Adam: Well, officially (chuckle) I don’t have anything to do with Clermont County. But, I speak with Greg Cohen probably every break that they get there and I’m generally in Court.

(Questioning goes on to describe Liz Carroll’s story, alleges Amy Baker’s perjury and discusses whether Liz Carroll will testify and suggests that other unnamed witnesses may be called to contradict her testimony)

I think we'll be hearing from Judge Ringland on this one. As you may recall, he gave Deters the OK to talk, but not Mark Piepmeier. It's nice to know you can (officially) decide to exclude yourself from a gag order.

It got me thinking. I have a civil case against a well known insurance company that everyone will agree screwed my client out of coverage. Mediation is coming up. Perfect case for the press, but when?

Never too early to think about tailgates.

2007-02-15T22:46:00.000-05:00

Bjorn and I have discussed the possibility of tailgating at two games this year. Usually, one is enough. But the people seem to like the gathering, so we will try to make it happen. Two dates to keep open are Sept 22nd (vs. Marshall) and Oct 13th (vs. Louisville. It will depend on start time, for some reason UC likes to start it's Homecoming game at noon, and that's simply not enough time. Spead the word, and remember we have a special treat planned this year.

What's Been Going On in Indiana?

2007-02-15T11:31:00.000-05:00

BUD:

I thought that there was already a law against having sex with animals. No?

I can't believe that they actually quoted someone saying, "They don't just stick it to animals."

WWHD?

2007-02-14T19:51:00.000-05:00

BUD:

I am very curious about what Huffman is up to these days. Cincinnati, DC, teaching, rock climbing, what? Max, perhaps you could post a schedule for the last year or so to include jobs, locations, descriptions, interesting trips, etc?

WASHINGTON DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE

2007-02-14T16:31:00.000-05:00

MOOSE:

I'm sure that this is getting a fair bit of press in Bud's neck of the country. I'll excerpt it below. Suffice it to say, some crazy liberals obviously enjoy tweaking the religious right:

On July 26, 2006, the Washington Supreme Court issued their ruling on Andersen v. King County, decided jointly with Castle v. Washington. These cases sought to overturn Washington’s Defense of Marriage Act, which bans same-sex couples from the hundreds of rights, protections and privileges which state law provides through marriage. In their ruling, the Supreme Court claimed a “legitimate state interest” in defining marriage exclusively for the purpose of procreation and child-rearing. The justices then used this interest to declare that same-sex couples are properly barred from marriage because they are incapable of procreating.

In response, a group of concerned citizens formed the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance this past August. Our agenda is to shine a very bright light on the injustice and prejudice that underlie the Andersen decision by giving that decision the full force of law. Over the next few years, we will propose three initiatives to the people, each focusing on a different aspect of Andersen. The first initiative will make procreation a requirement for legal marriage. The second would prohibit divorce or separation when a married couple has children together. The third would make having a child together the equivalent of marriage.

On these links you will find: the press release; the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance's homepage; and the actual text of the Act.

My favorite part is where the Andersen court mentions Bud's favorite marriage priviledge: spousal immunity (page 6).

Bud's Still Got It

2007-02-12T19:31:00.000-05:00

BUD:

I haven't enjoyed a day like this Saturday since the Summer of Bud. A friend is getting married in a couple of weeks, so about 20 guys got together for a bachelor party: flag football in the afternoon, then poker (3rd place finish for Bud, not too shabby for my first cards in literally 2 1/2 years), then to a gentlemen's establishment. Good times.

I was also introduced to a couple of recent SNL gems (Box and Lazy Sunday). They probably aren't too new, but they were new to me. I was pleased to see that SNL can still put out some quality stuff.

Moose, I am already primed and ready for October in Vegas!

Take that Friedman

2007-02-09T12:46:00.000-05:00

Bud:

Here is an article that seeks to temper some of the enthusiasm that people like Thomas Friedman have stirred up for the growth of the high tech industry in India and India's accension to superpower status in the new "flat" world.

Moose, you were in India recently, what's the word on the street?

Thank God It's Over

2007-02-06T20:11:00.000-05:00

BUD:

I enjoy the Super Bowl, I really do, but 2 weeks of lead up time and a finite number of mildly-interesting stories really wears on you:
1. Peyton Manning not having won the big one. I really didn't have any strong football affinity for either team, but you better believe that I was rooting hard for the Colts to win so we could put this story to rest forever. Seriously, now that Peyton Manning won his championship and Barbaro has been laid to rest, I feel like I can finally move on with my life.
2. Rex Grossman getting trashed. The guy is an NFL quarterback, and the Bears have two other veterans on the depth chart. If he's so bad, how did he win the starting job, and why aren't the Bears using someone else? It all hinges on the offensive line, anyway.
3. A black head coach winning the Super Bowl. Or is it African-American? Seriously, can someone (Jesse Jackson, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Jackson, anyone who might be qualified and willing to step up and make a decision) please figure out which term we are supposed to use. If anything, I'm embarrassed that the two black coaches thing was such a big story. To quote George Costanza, I really don't feel like I should be talking about this.
4. Let's just be glad that the Saints lost to the Bears. Can you imagine if New Orleans was in the Super Bowl? Hurricane Katrina, Reggie Bush, Archie Manning -- it's giving me a headache just thinking about it.

By the way, was anyone else worried that Prince was going to get electrocuted during the halftime show?

Dispatch from the frozen capital

2007-02-05T14:14:00.000-05:00

This morning I stopped by the courthouse on the way to work to see if I could get a peek at the Libby trial. Sure enough, the benches reserved for the public were half full and I sat 5 rows back from Libby and his team of about 12 attorneys. One young defense attorney looks like a combination of Moose and Jack Black. His greatest role was putting the partner's microphone on his lapel. Libby is probably an inch shorter than Moose. And Fitzgerald is a lot taller and heavier than he appears in photos. I could place other UCLaw grads as look alikes on both teams and in the audience. Media muckity mucks were in attendance, the only one recognizable to me being Nina Totenberg.

I stayed for a couple arguments without the jury and then some defense questioning of an FBI agent on the stand. Couple comments:

--Defense counsel seemed way too argumentative with judge Walton. He had ruled that the gov could enter into evidence some articles recovered from Libby's files on the presumption that Libby had probably read them, especially an article with underlined passages. Even though the judge had clearly made up his mind, defense counsel essentially said "you're wrong, no human or member of the jury could possibly heed your instructions to disregard prejudicial parts of the articles." Why didn't he just say, "we respectfully disagree" and take it up on appeal? Aren't you just pissing off the judge?

--Defense counsel is possibly alienating the 80% female jury by constantly referring to Ms. Plame as "the wife."

--Another defense partner constantly mispronounces "th"s as "f"s, and I'm not sure it's not intentional to appear more down to earth. If it is intentional, don't you risk losing some jurors as much as gaining others by grating on the former's appreciation of correct pronunciation?

--I have no jury experience but they seemed very interested in the case. And they were very social with one another during pauses. That usually bodes well for the prosecution I think.

Place your bets everyone, chances that:

--Libby will be acquitted. I'm thinking 1/1 so far.
--W will pardon Libby if not acquitted. I say 2/1.

lopez

His "Worst Experience" explains a lot

2007-01-23T15:29:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon this page, while looking for something else.

Funniest Running Joke

2007-01-23T10:21:00.000-05:00

The one joke that never gets old to me is when Moose says "that worked as well as when the Red's had the chinese throwing star giveaway." Any other nominations?

I think that Wayne Krivsky is ranked too high

2007-01-22T09:06:00.000-05:00

...on this list of GMs.
http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/6392576

Sterile Climbing Into Bed; Potent Going Down the Stairs

2007-01-19T10:45:00.000-05:00

Monty:

Last night at 2:30 a.m., my ADT burglar alarm sounded. Heather jumps out of bed, freaking out, and sends me downstairs in my underwear to check it out.

I don't own a gun. I don't have a baseball bat in my bedroom. I have nothing that could even repel the smell of the burglar. Heather won't give me the "panic button" alarm remote (supposedly, you push it and cops in droves coming screaching to your house), so she can push it when the band of criminals makes it past my first assault.

Do I turn on lights as I go (giving the perp notice as I enter each room) or leave them dark and rely on my sixth sense? I go downstairs and the back door is standing wide open. Man, at that moment, why the hell don't I have a glauck in my hand?

Ultimately, we determined that, most likely, we probably didn't make sure the latch caught on the door before we went to bed and the wind blew it open. But, I can't be sure.....

Who owns a gun? I had this conversation with one of my west-side large-acreage owning clients, who have more guns than Koresh. They've devised a two-prong battle attack in such a circumstance.

I want to get one, but everytime I bring it up I get the "kids'll get it" argument. Anyone?

Another stellar idea from our friends in Canada

2007-01-18T11:53:00.000-05:00

BUD:

A Pillow Fight League has been started in Toronto. Good idea, but I think that it might go too far in glorifying violence. I would advocate a Tickle Fight League. Perhaps promoters could do a twin bill with pillow fights and tickle fights and market it as "Slumber Party Mania."

Tom Brady's Karma

2007-01-17T09:57:00.000-05:00

Monty:

I tuned in to the Patriots-Chargers game just before LT's touchdown run made it 21-13. The game, from that point on, reminded me of Brady's first super bowl. With Bledsoe healthy on the sidelines, Brady hit 20-yard passes to seemingly wide open receivers to set-up Vinitieri's winning field goal.

Remember the legal flap about Belichick going to the Pats? That same year, Brady was taken in the sixth round behind six other quarterbacks. These two decisions were the reason for three super bowls and a fourth this year. Dumb luck? Karma? More analysis, less facts?

If the Patriots are the model - and they should be - we need to trade Chad Johnson.

Yet another addictive game.

2007-01-12T10:07:00.000-05:00

I know that Bud, Moose and I are the only ones who read this anymore, but check this game out. I got to level 27, which according to the high score page, sucks.

Minor gripe of the day

2007-01-08T16:57:00.000-05:00

BUD:

What ever happened to normal 100 watt lightbulbs that you could buy a pack of 4 for about $2? Our house was built, I've come to learn, to require about a dozen different types of specialty bulbs for the various light fixtures. The house is 3 1/2 years old (apparently also the lifespan of a bulb), so all the bulbs have been burning out lately. It is pissing me off to have to run to Lowes every other weekend to stock up on specialty bulbs which generally run about $10 a pop. Would it have killed the builder to just put in light sockets that require normal bulbs?

I don't know why this has gotten under my skin so much. It can't be helping matters that every night when I get home from work, my three-year-old's first order of business is to take me to the newly burned out light, gleefully declare "light no work, daddy," and hover expectantly until I get out the stepstool and a new bulb to replace it.

Less Facts, More Analysis

2007-01-05T14:55:00.000-05:00

MOOSE:

Enron, National Security, Nazi Germany,Using All Available Information, Fact Gathering v. Analysis, Yale Law Professor's Law Review Articles, and some students from Cornell. A little something for everyone from America's most interesting writer.

http://www.newyorker.com/printables/fact/070108fa_fact

New Stage of Manhood - Vasectomy

2007-01-05T09:33:00.000-05:00

With my third due in May (a girl), I am on the cusp of a new stage in life. Should I follow in the footsteps of me dear ol' dad?

Now, aside from perhaps Clark, I know NONE OF YOU have considered the thought and are shivering and shuddering just reading the words. So, why bring it here?

Because it brought a high-definition, techni-colored, super-charged thought to my mind: A vasectomy party in Vegas! Perhaps because partypoker shut me down, I can match anything with poker. There are plenty of qualified physicians in Reno and Vegas. So, who's in?

OK, I can't make it to Vegas. BUT, I can make it to Argosy or Belterra so long as I have a pre-planned pretextual business trip. Perhaps a ruse involving some cow-town type of litigation (i.e. did the cow jump in front of the car or vice versa). BUT, no way I'm letting some Indiana quack touch my sack.

UC Football

2007-01-04T08:46:00.000-05:00

Moose:

Let me go on record as saying that I really like new UC football Coach Kelly. I think he'll be more successful than Dantonio and that he'll run a more exciting team. He'll also be a better quote, more open-minded, and a more entertaining guy. Thumbs up to AD Thomas.

Boise State v. Oklahoma

2007-01-02T16:47:00.000-05:00

MOOSE:

I actually turned this game off with a minute left. Boy did I miss a hell of a game. Of course with YouTube, I didn't need to watch the game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENwDDB0dlRk&NR

Can someone refresh my recollection?

2007-01-02T13:15:00.000-05:00

BUD:

I forget: what were the terms of the bet that a number of you were involved in about who would be the last to stay single? Who was in on the action? Has Chavez now won?

Another one bites the dust

2007-01-02T11:43:00.000-05:00

BUD:

Sorry, ladies, as everyone probably knows by now, Moose is officially off the market. After a prolonged "courtship," he has decided to allow Kendra to make an honest man out of him. None of you were there for the proposal, but by a stroke of luck, I happened to be around to witness the event. Here is how it happened:

Moose set the mood by lighting several of his favorite scented Crabtree and Evelyn candles, while Morrissey crooned mournfully in the background. He looked resplendent in his favorite outfit: a David Robinson Spurs jersey, British flag socks, and nothing else (shiver). When Kendra came into the room, Moose's two cats strolled past her wearing hand-calligraphied signs around their necks which read "Will you" and "marry me, Kendra?" She had tears in her eyes (or is she just allergic to those damn cats?) when she turned around to see Moose kneeling beside her. Actually, he wasn't really kneeling, he's just that low to the ground naturally, but the effect was the same. In his hand was a small box containing a shiny conflict diamond, likely from one of the same third world countries whose immigrants Moose helps flood into this country and steal jobs from hard-working Americans. With Moose blocking the only exit, Kendra said "yes."

Remembering the scene brings a tear to my eye. Everything was so perfect.

Double Down? Nyet!

2006-12-20T16:06:00.000-05:00

BUD:

Although Moose and Bjorn were likely distraught over the new internet gambling laws in the U.S., at least they don't live in Russia. Somehow, getting the fellas together for a bachelor party in Siberia doesn't hold the same appeal.

2006-12-07T12:49:00.000-05:00

I found a video of our 1L Barrister Ball

Ken Burns' Next Project: Beer Pong

2006-12-05T17:53:00.000-05:00

BUD:

According to this article, someone is doing a documentary on beer pong and has determined that the game originated at Dartmouth. Take that, Todd.

I like the cautious fraternity brother (and the administrator, for that matter) who is wary of being "Borated." It's a sad world we are living in where you can't have a few beers and film a documentary about a drinking game without the risk of making a fool of yourself.

UC Law 1998

2006-12-05T14:04:00.000-05:00

Turns out plaintiffs lawyers go to lame law schools and big corporate lawyers go to top 25 schools.

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2006/12/why_do_plaintif.html

Why, do you think? Easy answer is corporate practice is where the money seems to be on graduation. But if the real money is in successful trial practice (I'll float that without supporting it), why would not a successful, top 25 graduate move into trial practice after paying off student loans? Answer suggested in the above link is that classic smart law students lack the skills to be successful trial lawyers (and maybe visa versa).

Max

UC Law 1998

Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T10:02:00.000-05:00

Anne and I are coming into town this evening for the Thanksgiving Holiday. We will get in late tonight, but are interested in going out on Firday night if anyone is available.

WEB-HEAD

2006-11-18T12:59:00.000-05:00

MOOSE:

UC Law 98-er John ("Stinky") Webber got a little local press when he worked with Satan's Prosecutor in order to avoid a Grand Jury hearing in a gun-fired-in-self-defense case.

2006-11-17T13:17:00.000-05:00

Major League Baseball Player Theme Song

If I was a professional baseball player, I would choose this song as my theme song. Under the best case scenario, I would be a big league closer and this song would play as I trotted out to the pitchers mound. I would also want the video to play on the jumbotron interspersed with clips of me striking out batters. It would be great for the crowd as well as they could chant "when the going get tough, the tough get going at the beginning." Think about it - silence and then "when the going gets tough" and the croud responds "the tough get going" followed by Billy Ocean's voice and my appearance from the bull pen.

UC Law 1998

2006-11-15T17:17:00.000-05:00

UC Law 1998

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2006/11/what_constitute.html

A take on minimal standards for law school "success." I disagree with the assertions. If trained monkeys can pass the bar, why is that at all relevant to a law school's success? It would be better if Harvard grads. regularly failed. Then there would be general agreement the bar is an inane metric. Ask Moose, whose secretary is a more effective lawyer than I am.

The world should be thisly: like mental health counselors who pass some test and are able to put you on a couch, the minimum criteria for practicing law should be passing the bar. But anybody smart enough can do it. Then, law school provides you a credential that NOT everybody has. So in competition with the world of hack lawyers out there, we all call ourselves "UCLaw1998, J.D." And we command a premium for that credential just like psychologists or psychiatrists command a premium over "counselors."

Max

Jack Trick or Treating

2006-11-14T10:19:00.000-05:00

I took this video of Jack trick or treating. Although we went trick or treating last year, this was the first year that he actually "got it". All I had to do was show him what to do at the first house and he took over from there. Kid was a natural.

As an aside, now that I have a son, I am very much in tune with the world of Thomas the Tank Engine. Monty posted about this a fews post down the page. The two trucks he posted a picture of were named Max and Monty. Their characteristics were that they were mischievious and often got themselves into trouble. I find it ironice that the Thomas the Tank Engine comapany decribes the trucks Monty and Max axactly the same way I would describe the real life intoxicated Monty and Max. It makes me wish that there was a Clarkie tank engine that was always angry, a Lopez tank engine that was incredibly cool, a Todd tank engine that was embarassed by its ridicoulously hairless and indredibly pale wheels, a Moose tank engine that loved cats, a Brian tank engine that enjoyed sniffing the tank engine smoke, a Bud tank engine that was delicate, a Ammah tank engine that no one could understand, a Wilson tank engine that consistently randomly attacked a J-Mike Teddy Bear Distribution truck, a Doug tank military tank engine, a Hans foreign tank engine that specialized in delivering foreing pornograhophy and often lended its expensive accessories to the other tank engines.

A renegade cop. A robot renegade cop.

2006-11-07T12:43:00.000-05:00

BUD:

They ran the trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's new movie last night on the Daily Show. Attempted live action of a scene from an animated movie -- pretty funny idea. Supposedly, there are going to be a couple more that will expand the story.

It reminded me of the trailer they did for the Comedian several years ago which was fantastic and worth another look.

Sort of a West Wing meets For Love of the Game

2006-10-31T16:13:00.000-05:00

BUD:

This is an entertaining read.

Great Floridian Triathlon

2006-10-30T10:35:00.000-05:00

UC Law 98-er, Jim Lopez, is too modest to admit this, but the word on the street is that he completed this event, which is pretty sick.

The Male Results finishers list does show a "James Lopez" from Washington DC. He swam 2.4 miles in 1:26, then biked 112 miles in 7:24, and then ran a 5:18 marathon, which means he spent 14 hours 32 minutes swimming, biking, and running, or about as long as Ewald spent in class in law school.

-Moose

UC Law Kicks Ass, Adds names

2006-10-28T12:48:00.000-04:00

UC Law, once again, had the highest bar apssage rate in the State (tied, this year, with U of Toledo). I don't see a news item on the UC Law homepage, but feel free to scour this to see which of our little brothers and sisters passed the exam.

FWIW, here are my thoughts: A law school ought to have a high bar passage rate. But really that's the base-line, not the goal. If a law school is not adequately preparing its student to pass the bar exam, then almost everything else that it is doing is a waste of time and unintended fraud (I like to create my own causes of action).

It's kind of like the attorney who wants to be a rainmaker and argues that his marketing is very solid because he gets a lot of referrals. That's certainly good and important, but shouldn't every attorney be doing a good enough job that his clients are happy with his work and willing to tell their friends? The exceptional rainmaking attorney is the one who generates leads beyond his referral network.

-Moose

Finally, a piece not about police/crime/jails

2006-10-26T12:35:00.000-04:00

BUD:

It's about time that Bronson wrote an article about an interesting topic, although I'm not really sure what his point is. Does he like beer pong, or just the fact that Oxford City Council has felt compelled to vote on outlawing the outdoor version? I do agree that the new UC mascot is lame.

Debate - New Topic

2006-10-26T09:28:00.000-04:00

We've never really discussed this topic, but it is certainly interesting. My opnly problem with his list is that he includes fictional people with a host. I think the parameters have to be the character on TV. So you take Markie Post's character on night court, not her in real life. So on his list you judge Martha Quinn as she was on MTV. My vote goes for Angela Chase (Claire Danes) in "My So Called Life'.

Field Goal Bet Results

2006-10-26T09:07:00.000-04:00

Field Goal Bet

Sorry it's sideways. This was my best kick. I failed.

On Nate's B-day List...

2006-10-25T15:27:00.000-04:00

Monty the Dump Truck

Monty the Dump Truck is a member of the team called "The Pack" who works for the Sodor Construction Company. He and his twin brother Max like to make trouble at the construction sites. He zooms around the site spinning out and kicking up dirt. Monty wears the number 16.

Max the Dump Truck

Max the Dump Truck is a member of the team called "The Pack" who works for the Sodor Construction Company. He and his twin brother Monty like to make trouble at the construction sites. He zooms around the site spinning out and kicking up dirt. Max wears the number 15.

Kinda made me tear up thinking of the good ole days when he asked for these....

-Monty

Even you have to be impressed, Todd

2006-10-25T12:18:00.000-04:00

BUD:

Check out this amazing bit of drinking by one of Dartmouth's finest.

The Bet of the Century

2006-10-23T10:09:00.000-04:00

Last night Moose and I were at the Cincinnati/South Florida game. We watched the Cincinnati kicker Lovell miss a 47 yard field goal. I of course said that I could make it from there. So either this Wednesday or this Sunday I will be joining Moose at Nippert Stadium to attempt a 47 yard field goal. I get five tries. Of course, odds are encouraged and bets are expected. Frankly the stakes between Moose and I are pretty weak (dinner). I will attempt to videotape the event and post it here, for you, the readers.

Should I sue the Wall Street Journal?

2006-10-21T09:51:00.000-04:00

Here's a piece that they published October 20, 2006.
http://www.opinionjournal.com/taste/?id=110009125

Here's an article that I published in the Cincinnati Bar Association's CBA Report in July 2006:
http://www.hammondlawfirm.com/CBAReport_July2006_CTM.pdf

-Moose

Classic Debate Series - Vol. 2 - Double Actor

2006-10-20T16:49:00.000-04:00

i was pondering -- who do you think is among the most successful actors/actresses that have starred in two unrelated sitcom/tv series -- in the last 15-20 years?

some thoughts:

kelly and valerie -- tiffany amber thiessen - saved by the bell and 90210

paige and whatever her housewife name is -- nicolette sheridan -- knots landing and desperate housewives (i realize you boys may have not watched knots landing, but it was a huge hit during its prime and she was a major character)

zach and whatever his name was on nypd blue -- mark paul gausselear (sp?) -- saved by the bell and nypd blue

elaine and christine -- julia louis-dreyfuss -- seinfeld and the new adventures of old christine -- she did just win an emmy -- but this seems to recent...

-Moose (posting for Beamer)

JACK CHIN

2006-10-20T16:43:00.000-04:00

You may remember Jack Chin as a UC Law Prof. who started after we graduated. He later moved onto U of Az. He was recently interviewed on the Daily Show. Pretty funny stuff.

I can't be bothered to sign up to You Tube to actually put the video on this blog, but here is the link.

-Moose (posting for Max)

There was another college football brawl this weekend

2006-10-18T16:14:00.000-04:00

BUD:

Check out this excerpt from the article about the finish of the Dartmouth/Holy Cross game from Dartmouth's cleverly-named newspaper, The Dartmouth:

Unfortunately for the Big Green, Holy Cross was able to attempt a chip shot, 18-yard field goal. As DeSantis lined up for the kick, the swirling autumn winds and occasional shouts from the sidelines were the only noise to be heard in Memorial Field as both teams set up for what could very well have been the last play of the game.
The Big Green fans began to awaken and cheer, trying to distract DeSantis to no avail. The kick sailed through the uprights, allowing the Crusaders to come away with a dramatic and disappointing(for Dartmouth) 24-21 overtime victory.
The Big Green players were gathered on the sideline after the game when Holy Cross began dancing on the Dartmouth "D" in the center of the field. This was perceived as an insult by many Big Green players. Punches, and even crutches flew as a brawl broke out in the middle of the field. After nearly 10 minutes, the conflict was broken up by police and intervening members of each team's staff.

It must be getting close to Halloween

2006-10-17T14:43:00.000-04:00

BUD:

Seattle is now hosting this traveling exhibit called Bodies which is basically a bunch of cadavers cut open in various ways to show a variety of internal systems, organs, etc. Not really my cup of tea, so I wasn't terribly surprised to see that someone was trying to shut it down. Probably some conservative alliance, distraught family members or concerned religious group, right? No. It turns out that the party filing the lawsuit is really just a competitor museum that hosts exhibits on bigfoot, ghosts and UFOs. They are likely just upset because theirs is no longer the freakiest exhibition in the city.

Can you even imagine if someone tried to bring this exhibit to Cincinnati? It would make the Condon/Tobias lawsuit look like some ill-conceived, small-time art project (oh wait, that's what it was).

Double downer

2006-10-13T14:41:00.000-04:00

Lopez:

What will Moose do during lunch? From a WSJ blog: (I can't imagine this will do away with practice gambling sites--but that's fun like smoking oregano, so I'm told)

October 13, 2006, 12:38 pm
New Law Riles Poker Crowd
Poker players aren’t happy with Congress or President Bush, who today signed a law banning online gambling.

“Today is a dark day for the great American game of poker,” said Michael Bolcerek, president of the Poker Players Alliance , which claims more than 110,000 poker buffs. “Twenty-three million Americans who play the game online will effectively be denied the ability to enjoy this popular form of entertainment, even in the privacy of their own homes.”

The poker group, which fired off a news release, charges that Washington bluffed the public by attaching the gambling restrictions to a port security bill. In signing the bill this morning, Bush didn’t even mention poker or gambling, and instead stuck to his main theme for the campaign season: Security. “Our seaports are a gateway to commerce, a source of opportunity and a provider of jobs. Our ports could also be a target of a terrorist attack, and we’re determined to protect them,” he said.

The whole affair has left Poker superstar Doyle “Texas Dolly” Brunson fuming. “As a lifelong poker player, I can’t believe the underhanded way this new bill restricting online poker was passed through Congress. What does Internet poker have to do with the Safe Port Bill? We Texans don’t like this kind of trickery. Texas is a state where you can see an enemy coming, a friend is a friend, and you look someone straight in the eyes.”

The PPA finds it particularly galling that the law exempts horse racing, state lotteries and fantasy sports, and is pressing Congress for a similar exemption for poker. As it is, Bolcerek argues, the new law “leaves more than $4 billion in annual tax revenue on the table.” –Mary Lu Carnevale

A New Series--Classic Debates

2006-10-10T22:30:00.000-04:00

You may or may not know that I went through undergrad on a full-ride debate scholarship. So I like to argue. And I have found that some of the greatest arguments of all time occurred within the walls of the University of Cincinnati. Todays topic was the neverending debate of whether or not you can have more than one nemesis.

Clark always argued that a person can only have one nemesis. This had come up near the year 2000 when he replaced Budelski as his millenial nemesis. I was the replacement. He defined nemesis as being your chief enemy, and as such you could only have one of them. Bjorn was on this side of the debate.

I argued that you can have as many nemesi(s?) as you want. Your arch nemesis is your primary enemy.

Another Defining Moment

2006-10-10T11:16:00.000-04:00

Lopez:

The UVA softball tourney should be on the list. Some reasons:
On the ride out Max loses his glasses while conducting a biology and physics experiment at 60 mph; Bart's amazing single in the rain exemplifies the seat of the pants streak we had; one of the best Beirut teams ever kicks Brooklyn Law butt; the White Spot; Chavez and I out on the town; Ammah not finding a throwing partner because he throws too hard; throwing up and/or passing out on the field.

It's true that everything was about section 1. As a section 6er, it was like a reoccuring nightmare of having to leave the sad, quiet high school lunch period (maybe talking D&D with JMike or walking silently and defiantly with Wils) just as the loudest, wackiest students were reporting for their lunch period, roaring into the cafeteria throwing erasers (say, Calaway), goosing the milk ladies (Moose), making silly animal faces and noises to underclassmen (Bartish), asking cheerleaders if they know that their epidermis is showing (Max).

On another note, I'm in 7th heaven with the polls coming out today.

Bartish is Dead To Me

2006-09-27T23:34:00.000-04:00

I've known Mike Bartish for a long time. Over that time I have overlooked a great number of things.

When he told me that I must be charming as hell because I was definitely unattractive, I laughed it off.

When he forced me to bet Elmo and then pay for it to get it back, I took it as a life lesson.

When he called me at 3:30 in the morning to let me know that he was on the roof of his house, I shrugged it off as a drunken prank. As well as the six subsequent calls.

When he caused me to lose $45 dollars at one table by watching me play blackjack and jinxing my luck, I simply moved to a different table. Even then he said Hi to me from afar and I lost a double-down, I forgave him.

When he failed to block Ted Kiser during the most celebrated sack in 1L Express history, I shook it off as good videotape material.

When he walked into my friends sliding glass door with a full glass of beer, I chuckled and told everyone he was mildly retarded.

When he lead the movement that would inevitably lead to me being killed on a desert island because of my succulent ass-meat, I simply chalked it up to Darwinism.

When he convinced his preacher to lecture me about living in sin at his wedding reception, I took it as a message from God and left the girl.

When he put Two-Hole on my softball jersey, well, there wasn't much I could do about that.

So it goes without saying I have cut the guy some slack. I then find out that he has decided to ditch the UC/Miami tailgate to go to the Notre Dame/Purdue game, I think I have finally lost it. Why?
1)He's known about the tailgate for at least two months.
2)He's skipped out on the first three
3)The last Notre Dame game he went to, last week's unbelievable win over MSU, he left before the 4th quarter.
4)Moose gave up tickets to last years Notre Dame USC game to come to the tailgate.
5)It's friggin' PURDUE!

So Bart, my memories of my first trip to Vegas are of three people, not four. I walked by myself around Western Hills Country Club. At Wainio's fundraiser I was chanting "Pants", not "Bartish's Pants". And I alone couldn't figure out it was Bret Bone serving me beer at the Yucatan Liquor Stand. I hope your happy.

Ewald Must Be Kicking Himself

2006-09-26T10:01:00.000-04:00

Clearly this league should be run by Ewald.

Top Eleven Defining Moments In Law School

2006-09-25T12:27:00.000-04:00

It was ten years ago this month that our law school experience began. Obviously we look back fondly on those times. The question becomes, of those times, which was most important, most representative of the times we now remember? Here they are:

11)Bart and Moose move in together. One was a loud, obnoxious, attention starved student who did little studying and a lot of drinking. The other was Bartish. Thus began the Aunt Ellie's era. Without this apartment we wouldn't have Poker Night, Hook Up or Throw Up, the Tower Eight and countless hours of sexual orientation speculation. This duo was the center of all relevent law school planning.

10) Section One comes together. This one, like the one above it, pains me to write. But section one included Moose, Bart, Bjorn, Susie, Max, and Budelsky. Probably some that I have forgotten. But early in law school you invite one you get ten to fifteen people. They referred to themselves at "the popular kids", but everyone else called them the "Heathers".

9) The second ski trip. The first ski trip included many second years like my brother and Toby. It wasn't until the second ski trip that the party got legs. We rented a five room condo with about 15-20 people. Broken legs, bedroom congas and hot stories abound. Set the stage for Ski Trip 3.0 which featured some of the most competitive Cups action ever.

8)Budelsky wears a Dartmouth t-shirt for the 18 straight day. This is amazing for a couple reasons. One, they never repeated. (The author's favorite will always be the keg-jumping shirt) Two, it took us that long to realize how Bud was inappropriately arrogant. He went to an Ivy league school, dammit.

7)The popular kids take Max in under their wings. Before Max was socially awkard and shy. Think Patrick Dempsey in "Can't Buy Me Love". Well, he didn't buy Moose a leather jacket, but by the time they were done think Patrick Dempsey in "Grey's Anatomy". And don't pretend you don't watch that show.

6)Pub Crawl. First of many. Several good stories, but the significance of this event is this is when the Class of 98 really wrestled control of the law school. Socially that is.

5)Opening Day, 1996. If memory serves me, we had about 80 people confirmed for the game. A slight problem with the umpiring situation caused a delay. (quick aside: Moose was standing in line to get beer when the umpire died. By the time he go to the register the game was cancelled and beer sales were halted. He did not know this. So the clerk calmly explained to him that he couldn't have a beer because the umpire had died. His response was "What, was he supposed to bring up the kegs?" Great guy that Moose.) So suddenly we needed to replan for the next day and maintain the beer buzz. Western Bowl, Willie's and Uncle Woody's all factored in to the occasion. Seven days and one pair of underwear later Moose returned home and we determined that the combination of Opening Day and the Final Four was a pretty good party.

4)I attend Eric Clark's 22nd birthday party. I barely knew Eric. He was a friend of a friend, mired in the Class of 99. That night I watched him work his magic on a diverse crowd of five women (including his wife). This night, coupled with further incidences of bravado, made me decide this guy might be as arrogant as Budelsky and as clueless as Bartish. He was a must for Poker Night. Still #2 in poker night's hosted. Serves as liason between his class and our class, even though most agree he's in our class.

3)Drafting and creation of the charter for the Student Law School Tackle Football Club. Somewhere in UC there should be a painting similar to this one depicting the signing of that charter in room. The 1L Express went undefeated in it's three year history, defeating every class and the Med School too. The formation of this team paved the way to creation of a much more powerful team, Schmoozing & Boozin.

2)Decision to join the Cincinnati Bar Association Softball league. Originally conceived as Schmoozin', Boozin' and Loozin', L.P.A. this team was responsible (or so said our letter) for raking the in field and passing out beers before the game. A roster of twenty or so law students gradually became 12 and in 2000 won the league Championship. This team saw some horrible players and some great uniforms. The addition by subtraction of Mike Bartish got the championship and the team still exist today, five uniforms later. This event ranks at number two because it also brought about the infamous UVA trip. Former student Marc Browning invited us to a law school only tourney in Virginia. Most people have heard the stories of the trip so frequently that they can tell it as if they were there as well. Like Bud, he can tell the story of the trip even though he was at home picking out floral arrangements.

1)Bartish decides to host a poker night after watching an episode of Seinfeld. The influence was was widespread and ubiquotous. No social activity or rumor or innuendo came into being without the say-so of Poker Night. Almost every activity above started as a brain child and was developed at Poker Night

(Honorable Mention-- Selecting Hill View Golf Course.)

Another Game, More Cerebral

2006-09-22T09:58:00.000-04:00

In this game you try to find 50 movie titles in the painting. They are all "dark" movies. I have 33 so far.

If You Like Risk

2006-09-13T11:43:00.000-04:00

Then try this maddingly addictive game. I can win with 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. But not 7 or 8.

Radiodread

2006-09-13T10:18:00.000-04:00

Moose:

Not sure if you read the blog, E, but this is right up your alley:

Radiodread

I've actually heard the "Subterranean Homesick Alien" cover. It isn't bad, but I'm not sure that I would call it "reggae."

Celebrities and Sports Rivalries

2006-09-11T18:23:00.000-04:00

BUD:
Were you aware that Dave Chappelle is now living in Yellow Springs, Ohio? That's just a stone's throw up the road from the 'Nati. Maybe he'll be performing at Go Bananas one of these nights and Timmy (always connected to the comedy club circuit) can organize an outing.

Speaking of Yellow Springs, I stumbled across this town and the surrounding area a few years ago when I went hiking in Clifton Gorge and John Bryan State Park (a real nice hike, if you're looking for something to do on a crisp, fall Saturday afternoon, but I digress). This little corner of Ohio is a real melting pot of higher education -- it is home to the three most diverse schools that could coexist within 8 miles of each other. Yellow Springs is home to ultra-liberal Antioch College. Whole lotta vegan restaurants, Birkenstock stores, and "womyn's studies" majors clad in hemp clothing to be found in Yellow Springs. Traditionally-black college Wilberforce is just down the road. Forming the third point on this area's higher education triangle is Cedarville University, a "Christ-Centered, Baptist university." It's always killed me thinking about what the sports rivalries must be like between these three schools. I smell a movie script somewhere in here. Think PCU meets A Different World meets the road trip from Animal House. I bet we could even get Jeremy Piven and Kadeem Hardison to anchor the project.

Current Rankings

2006-09-08T22:11:00.000-04:00

CALAWAY-
I like lists. I own three different copies of the "Book of Lists". I like to gossip and base opinions on things that are not necessarily true. So here is my current rankings of people from the Class of 98. There is no formula other than it is a Top Ten, so if you didn't make the cut you need to do more.
10)Eric Clark. Gets participation points for Fantasy Football and softball. Went to Opening Day and the tailgates. Losses points for not being in the Class of 98. Is planning on attending my poker night next Saturday.

9)Todd Calaway. I cannot rank myself any higher. For many reasons. (Baby Spice)

8)Michael Budelski. Gains points for procreating and writing this blog. Won tickets for Opening Day. Losses points for living in Seattle and leaving second base to #9. (Sporty Spice)

7)Susie Beamer. Lives closer than Bud.

6)Brian Ewald. Always a gamer for whatever. Still called Dr. Teeth. Loses points from everyone but me for hosting a World Cup party.

5)Tim Ammer. Gets points for finding Susie a boyfriend. Has planned numerous events that never happened. Also very good at being at events, just in a better spot than you. Red's game bleachers? Timmy is in View Level. Bengals game? Timmy is playing on the fifty yard line. Also part of his Condo Association Board. Not sure this matters. Loses points for being the worst euchre player ever.

4)Max Huffman. Professor. Has turned down jobs at Harvard and Yale to stay in Cincinnati. List's Madonna's as his favorite bar. Loses points for refusing to acknowledge that we lived together.

3)Bjorn Chavez. Easily spends more time playing poker than he does working. That's enough to get you to #3. Also has seen 80 of the AFI 100 Greatest Films ever. (Posh Spice)

2)Chris Musillo. I didn't want to rank him this high, but everyone would protest because he's such a "great guy". The great guy owns three cats, follows men's tennis very closely and has seen Madonna in concert ten times this year. Also gets points for running his own "Immigration Law" blog. Plays poker second to Bjorn and enjoys the company of men. (Ginger Spice)

1)Mike Bartish. Appeared on the Price Is Right. Valiently fought off gay rumors for close to a decade now. Single handedly made the first night of my bachelor party. Started YouTube craze. Loses points for only managing to call Scary Spice while watching "Wannabe".

Old School Top 10 List

2006-09-08T14:16:00.000-04:00

BUD:
This is an old email from Lil' Bart dated March 1, 1999. I post it because as I said in response to Calaway's Top 11 list, we need to do a better job of coming up with inane rankings for ourselves -- a man needs to know where he stands. (It is pure coincidence that I happened to post a ranking that I sit on top). Good stuff.

I personally agree with Bud on his ranking system. Poker night is not simply about winning and losing of money, but it is also about other intangibles already mentioned. In light of this criteria, my rankings are as follows:
1. Bud (As much as it pains me to rank my nemesis this high, facts are facts. He has stayed in the same seat for the second longest duration. He had and lost lucky bear. He is very boisterous at poker night. And he wins the most. He introduced $10 dollar whore, an orinal PN game. Obvious choice. Todd's poll loses all credibility in my opinion for his failure to put the obvios choice #1. Whether we like it or not, he has to have the #1.)
2. Moose (He lived at Aunt Ellies, stayed in his seat the longest, owned the game of capitalism, Martini Night participant, made all Vegas trips, was represented by a card in a number of games.)
3. Chavez (Although really didn't start winning to the end, his strong perfomance in WOP deserve recognition. Stayed in same seat for majority of time. Was the central character in many Poker Night Scandals and gossip)
4. Bartish (This seems to be wear I rank in many other polls. I was incredibly hot during most ofd second year - possibly even leading money winner until horrible slump and Budelsky's rise. Won Todd's Elmo. Introduced Old Faithful, Pub Crawl, Bartish's roomate. Namesake of Bartish on Stick. Did Pelvic thrusts when I thought I won with 4 nines, provided Aunt Ellies, organized Vegas Trips, Butt of many jokes and pranks.)
5. Calaway (Almost feel like ranking him lower due to his self inflated ranking system, but he is a founding member and driving force behind poker night. Supplier of pretzels and stories. Head gossip monger which is invaluable. Lost a stuffed Elmo. Won all the time in the beginning. Suspect winnings - always brings up Vegas and Argosy and Atlantic City yet only wins when I'm not around.)
6. Clark (A bit of an upset that the youngster advanced this high this quick. Solid member. High attendance percentage. May have singlehandedly save poker night thru a virtrilic email scolding us for not playing ever weekend. Provided temporary home for PN when Aunt Ellies was not available.)
7. Max (one of the founding six. Represented by a card in the most games. Created some of the worst Poker Night games of all time in Fuck You Milo (Elmo) and Othello. Responsible for great deal of Poker Night gossip and scandal. Broke the most dining room chairs (3). Deepest voice when singing.
8. Doug (Didn't really start playing until final year which hurts his rankings. Lost lots of money at until a very strong performance during final stretch. Created possibly the most original and funniest game at PN - Guess Who is the 1L Homosexual.
9. Shane (Doormat as far as winnings are concerned however always came back for more. Took more punishment than most could ever handle yet always maintained stiff upper lip. Introduced 5 card McGee (Aces, Traces, One Eyed Faces (although he claims he called deuces instead treses)
10. Ewald (The man who gave us WOP, no more need be said.)

2006-09-08T13:52:00.000-04:00

Preview of the UC Law Tailgater

Althogh I cannot make the tailgater this year, I am quite confident that the following video accurately depicts what those who attend can expect. Check out Lopez on the keyboards.

Bart

Top Eleven Reasons the UC Tailgate is the Best Ever

2006-09-08T09:57:00.000-04:00

11) It's a stone's throw from the stadium. So after six hours of drinking you can practically fall into the stadium. Not quite as literally as when Will tackled Bjorn onto the playing field. During the game. (They were kicked out)

10)Bathrooms in the Alumni Center are even closer. Indoor plumbing. A sink. Modern conveniences that are largely forgotten after drinking for six hours.

9)UC sets up a huge party with bands and food and kid's games and fun stuff like that. You can see it from our tailgate. Not that you would ever leave our tailgate.

8)The parade usually finishes right by our parking lot. Band nerds will always be band nerds. I don't care if they are having sex with each other. That doesn't count.

7)Servatii Pretzel with beer cheese. Enough said.

6)Music selection that goes from Foghat to Janet Jackson to Cornershop to Poison. Girls secretly like music thats played in strip clubs. Not that I would know what music is played in strip clubs.

5)Kaden Clark. Now in his fourth year. I think he's three years old and this is his fourth tailgate. If watching a three-year-old pound beers with his dad doesn't get you fired up, I don't know what will. It was either beer or a juice box, I don't remember. (Honorable mention to Kathy Lasher's Mom. For some reason when she shows up there is no person I would rather see. She's my fun aunt who gave me sips of her beer at the family picnic. She's been every year too.)

4)Budelsky free. That's right. No fleece vest wearing, Samba sporting, Dartmouth elitists hanging around out tailgate explaining that they "have a better idea".

3)All the tailgate staples. Beer, food, cookies and chips. A grill going in the back. A pickup that you get a view of the parking lot. Cornhole and a football. If this doesn't interest you then you have no soul and you should move to Darfur.

2)Speaking of beer, this tailgate offers one of the toughest Cups competition this side of the Alleghenies. I'm not sure where the Alleghenies are, but I do know we have great players that excel both in the team format and last year's "Survivor" format. (Reigning champion:Christin C.) Bring your best team and go home with your tail between your legs. (Two years ago UC defeated Miami's team 13 times out of 14 matches.)

1)Not many people have experienced number one, but it remains with all who have been there. I get there about 8:30 in the morning. Bjorn and Moose return with the beer around 9:00. For the next couple hours we play poker in the back of the pickup as the campus comes to life. Something peaceful about drinking beer, playing cards for nickels and getting ready to tailgate. It helps that we are usually drunk by the time most people show up.

2006-09-07T10:01:00.000-04:00

rick springfield-love somebody

LilBart

I believe our MTV Video experiment ended too soon. Accordingly, I will continued to submit videos for discussion to the Blog. One of my favorites from Rick Springfield.

Grand Rapids, MI

2006-09-07T09:50:00.000-04:00

MOOSE:

Bart's "new hometown" is going to be prominently featured in this weekend's New York Times. Sounds like a neat little city. I'm surprised that their intrepid reporter didn't mention the GR's burgeoning gazebo population though. And no word on when the NYT is doing "36 Hours in Price Hill"; they're probably waiting for the Real World crew to finish.

The Cincinnati one was done about three years ago. It includes the compelling line: "Well, for once the news from Cincinnati is upbeat and decidedly not sleazy." Damn liberal east coast media slamming fly-over country. Have you played corn-hole, New York Times?

Anti-Internet Gambling Bill

2006-09-07T08:42:00.000-04:00

LIL BART

Is anyone as worried about this thing passing as I am. It basically updates the wire act to include internet poker. I have never been very political in the past nor really cared about what laws congress passes - but this one really pisses me off. In has affected me so much that I honestly do not think I will ever vote for another Republican again (save McCain who doesn't count). Honestly, the Christian right has completetely taken over this frickin' party. I am sick of evertyone picking their representatives based on that persons morality. Most of the most moral people I know are idiots - you know why. Because their morality prevents them from doing things that could get them in trouble. Accordingly, they have never had to think on their feet about how to get out of trouble. Because their brain doesn;t have to exert itself, it atrophies thus making them a moran. Seriously, think about it. Why do you think Clinton (who I didn't particulary care for) did such a decent job running the country. That guys brain was probably working non-stop throughout his whole life.

P.S. - I love my little roster link.

Poker Lawsuit

2006-09-06T23:09:00.000-04:00

Moose recently brought to my attention the lawsuit by a bunch of poker players against the professional poker association. In my judgment, it's unlikely to make it very far, but these lawsuits are rarely about succeeding on the merits. What they are about, as Moose recommended, is writing articles. Here's an intro paragraph:

Many of us have played the game, sitting on barstools in October (World Series), December or January (bowl games and pro football playoffs), March (March Madness) or later in the spring (pro basketball and hockey playoffs). Also during every fourth February (Olympic curling). "What defines a sport?" We ask. The responses vary. "It can't be something with an engine." (The anti-Nascar set.) "Skill has to overcome strength." (Baseball fans.) "Raw strength must overcome teamwork." (Wrestling and Boxing afficianados.) "You can't play it drinking a beer." (True athletes.) "It's OK to drink beer during the event, just not during actual play." (Bowlers and softballers.) Or maybe it's just we lawyers---we need a test for everything. (See Lemon v. Kurtzman, ___ U.S. ___ (___).)

Add another defining characteristic to the mix. It's a sport when it can claim its own antitrust litigation. College basketball had it long ago. (See Regents of the Univ. of Oklahoma v. NCAA.) College football can claim Maurice Clarett. Hockey and pro football, too. (Right, Moose? Help a guy out.) Professional baseball can do them all one better---anything with its own antitrust exemption must be a sport even Nietzche can subscribe to. And now, let's add one for the ages: professional poker, long a staple of low-tier cable channels, has graduated to the ranks of "sport." In NAME OF LAWSUIT, a band of highly successful poker professionals have sounded their own barbaric "yalp." No matter what the result of their highly publicized antitrust litigation, the newest addition to the ranks of sport must forever be reckoned with.

Which is good, because their claims should be dismissed at summary judgment. (So on and so on.)

What do you guys think?

Max

Roster additions

2006-09-06T21:35:00.000-04:00

MOOSE:

I finally got around to adding a few more to our roster ------------->

Porn Lists!

2006-09-06T16:26:00.000-04:00

BUD:
Ok, so this article is actually about a list of hotels that don't have porn. Make a note of which hotels to avoid when you travel, Moose.

The referenced website is really just a search engine to find available hotel rooms in the area that you are visiting that don't happen to have adult pay-per-view movies in the rooms. It might actually find a niche. My question is: why is there a pledge? And what is the point of signing it?

I did like to see that Cincinnati "family values crusader" Phil Burress is getting some national media attention. It's too bad that the article quoted Paul Cambria (one of Louie Sirkin's porn lawyer rivals) for the other side and not our local boy.

Maybe it's oblong

2006-08-31T15:08:00.000-04:00

BUD:
Ever since reading Thomas Friedman's The World Is Flat, I am always interested by articles like this one. It's an interesting twist -- it basically says that India's economy will eventually top China's basically because they are a democracy and China is going to struggle with its communist authority. The article gives weight to India's "institutional strengths" over the infrastructure and huge head start that China has built up. It also lists India's exploding population (in comparison to China's more stagnant growth due to the 1 child policy) as a plus for India. I'm skepitical. I had always thought that Friedman painted too rosy an outlook for India and China, and this article also seems to ignore factors such as the virtually debilitating bureaucracy in India (why do you think investors are flocking to China instead), crushing poverty, and enormous population.

If his defense was as good as this he might never have allowed a run

2006-08-28T17:48:00.000-04:00

I will not let this die!

I guess this is a sad story, but the lawyer used my favorite law school defense. Plus it involves a minor celebrity athlete who had a kick-ass beard.

-Moose

Dying Fast

2006-08-28T16:12:00.000-04:00

Shocker that this group is letting an interesting idea die quickly. We never had much of an attention span. But I won't give up.

I've noticed that more and more license plates are customized and some even indicate the type of car.
1) Is this necessary? I know you drive a BMW. The big clue is the large BMW letters on the trunk. Why waste you money putting it on your license plate?
http://littlevillage.com/License%20Plates/Vanity%20Plates%20-5.htm
And how did you get enough money to by a BMW being such a huge idiot?
2)If we allow this to happen, shouldn't there be a cut-off? Yesterday I saw a personalized license plate for a Honda CRV. Should you really advertise that not only do you own a Honda CRV but that you think so much of the car that you get personalized plates. And I'm not even sure what the cut-off should be. Should we let nice cars do and not cheap cars, or should we expect more from people who own nice cars?